How to Build Your Family’s Daily Rhythm
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I am a fairly free-spirited person and love the idea of an unstructured day. The problem is, I don’t actually thrive when I approach my days without intention. And for my kids, more than a day or two without structure has them completely falling apart! We need a family schedule to stay afloat.
I have learned over the years, how to put a rhythm to our days. I like to think of it as a rhythm more than a schedule, although I sometimes use the words interchangeably.
schedule by the season
Similarly to how I plan our family’s meals, I plan our schedule by the season. Each year before school starts in the fall, after Christmas vacation, and at the start of summer, I’ll write up a framework for our days.
When I have a schedule, I am free to break it. But especially on the days I’m struggling with anxiety or feel like things are getting on top of me, it helps so much to have a well-thought out schedule I can follow.
When you have a set rhythm to your day, you’ll start to weed out the time-wasters that were stealing your wellness and productivity. You may even find you actually DO have time to drop everything and just play with your kids for a while.
You can download my free daily rhythm printable and use these tips to write a schedule that works for you and your family. Use this printable how it works best for you. You may have a separate sheet for each day of the week. If you have a lot of busy people to keep track of, you may want to give each member of the family their own column.
Here are my tips for writing a schedule that works for you and your family:
Establish anchor points in your day.
Anchor points are points in your day that remain consistent. These should be pretty non-negotiable and follow a predictable pattern.
For example, our family sits down at the table together for meals 2-3 times a day. These meal times serve as anchor points in the day. No matter how off track our morning got, sitting down to lunch together at the table recalibrates us for the rest of the day. When we all just grab food on our own timing as we rush off to the next thing, we miss out not only on an opportunity to connect with each other, but we tend to feel less grounded.
Other anchor points could be family devotions in the morning or before bed, school drop offs and pick-ups, an evening walk together, rest time after lunch, etc.
Build your family’s schedule around what is good for you.
It is easy to start listing things like driving to school, the baby’s naps, the kids’ sports practices, etc. and realize the schedule is all filled up on everyone else’s needs with no room for your own.
It is not selfish to prioritize your own mental, spiritual, physical, social, and emotional health when deciding how to organize your days.
Before I wrote our daily schedule for this summer, I sat down and listed the ideal things I would want for myself in a day. They included time alone to read/pray/write, a walk by myself, and time to work on my business. That sounds like a tall order for a mom with 5 small kids at home, right? However, knowing that my health and sanity sets the tone for the rest of the household, I used these 3 things as a framework for our entire daily rhythm, although probably no one would recognize it at first glance. I knew the time alone to read, pray, and write would not happen unless I got up early, so I committed myself to that. I talked with my husband about using his lunch break to give me 30 minutes to get out and go for a quick walk. And I use the kids rest time to work on my business.
Make rest time happen.
I had someone over fixing my washing machine the other day. We were chatting about the laundry and I mentioned having 5 kids. He had been over for about 30 minutes and hadn’t yet seen or heard a kid. “Wow,” he said. “It’s pretty quiet around here for 5 kids.” It was! It was rest time.
I know plenty of parents who say it isn’t possible, and I have said it myself. But I now firmly believe that rest time with a full house of kids is not only possible, but necessary for all of us. I have one toddler who still takes an afternoon nap, and the baby naps of course. The rest of the kids, after finishing chores, have an hour they are expected to rest quietly in their rooms. They may read, play, do a craft, anything quiet. If a few are getting along well enough to “rest” together, it’s fine. I am not strict about what they do, but the most important thing is that they are quiet and that they do not come to me for anything less than an emergency. When I was pregnant or had a newborn, I could actually nap. I’ve used that time to exercise, meet with a friend, work, or just sit and enjoy the bliss of a quiet home. It may be an uphill battle for a few weeks, but once this routine is established, you will thank yourself for years for making it happen.
establish Family Chores.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re drowning in housework, it’s time to enlist some more help. And I don’t mean hiring it out, although there are times I would definitely recommend doing so if you can. I am talking about making sure each member of the household is contributing to the household. This is similar to establishing a rest time for young children, it may feel like more work at first. But ultimately, teaching your kids how to help out in significant ways around the house will reap rewards for years to come.
We try and spend about an hour a day working together on chores that keep the household running smoothly.
I have found complicated chore charts ineffective in our home. Currently, I will give the kids a list to work through during chore time that day. Sometimes I will give the little ones one tiny job at a time and have them ask me what’s next each time. I try and make it fun for the little ones. For example, “Pick up that plate from the coffee table and see how fast you can bring it to the sink.” Or “Race those cars back up to your room.”
Be strategic with screen time.
My kids love watching TV, and I basically only let them watch educational shows on PBS Kids. It amazes me what they learn from these shows! Still, once the TV is turned on whimsically, because I need a quick minute to collect myself or get something done, I have a hard time getting the kids re-engaged in our day. When I was writing our schedule during the Covid-19 quarantine, I knew I had to be strategic with their screen time. As hard as it was to keep the TV off all day, I would wait to turn it on until we had made it through the work of the day. Then I would give them an hour of screen time while I made dinner in a quiet kitchen. It felt like a reward for all of us.
Stay flexible.
Be realistic with your stage of life. It may take some trial and error before you find how you and your kids function best. Change it up as the seasons change. And remember, some days it’s okay to toss the schedule out the window.
Download the free printable.
Download my free daily rhythm printable and use these tips to write a schedule that works for you and your family.
